Breaking Free

I have finally realized a few things in my life that have been holding me back. Things that I do all the time that I know I shouldn't. For 2011 I am determined to let things go so that I can move on and become the woman I am supposed to be.

I am strong but I let the fear of failure stop me. I am wise but I let the fear of saying something stupid stop me. I am fun, amazing, beautiful, caring, creative and just plain me, but I let the fear of life stop me.

For as long as I can remember I have been accustomed to hide in the corner, in the shadows, away from everyone. Always because I was so afraid someone would notice my flaws and point them out. And while pointing them out they would break me down more than I have already broken myself. What I am starting to realize is that my flaws are what make me unique. Because of my flaws I should walk with my head held high and smile brightly to the world.

It has taken me a while to figure out life. It has taken me, what seems like forever, that all I need in this world is the acceptance from me. When it comes to me, my opinion is the only one that should matter. If I think I look beautiful today, than I do! And you can't tell me any different. All that matters is the confidence I gain from encouraging myself. Once I can accept myself others will accept me.

People are like dogs...hold on before you laugh. Think about a dog, they are good at sniffing things out. Dogs that sniff out drugs, dead bodies, lost children, gas leaks...and what ever else is lost and needs to be found (that has a scent anyways.) And humans are the same way. We sniff out weakness and we cling to that. We can tell when a young girl has no confidence in herself because she walks with her head down, her hair hiding her face, and possibly black and baggy clothes. We can tell when a young boy has no confidence because he tends to pick on the kids that are smaller than him and pointing out their flaws.

The sad thing about it is, some people gain confidence from hurting people that already have little to no confidence. That is just, sick. Sick! But, its even worse that these people let words, simple, meaningless words, get to them. I was one of those people. I used to hate myself because of what other people had said about me.

I am sure that you can guess it, but I was picked on in school. Not so much in High School because I had good friends that backed me up. But before high school I felt like school was nothing more than hell. I wish that I had known then how little those words would mean to me 10 years later.Maybe then I could have been a happier child.

But, to make up for my ignorance then, I will learn to accept myself now. And not just that, I will learn to accept others for who they are. It's the best thing we can do for each other, right?

I say, try smiling at that people that seem sad. Smile at everyone. I was once told that a smile could brighten someones day, it's true. Who knows how many people we could give hope to, just from a smile.

So, I have decided, I am going to break free from humanity. I am going to rise above the torture that we cause each other. I will find happiness in everything I can. And I will show everyone what I have found. You just wait and see. I will change the world.

Until we meet again

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