How much is one person supposed to take? There is so much going on in the world today and people just keep getting pushed around. You have two sides to all this, actually probably more but lets say two for now. One side you have the people trying to live an honest life and getting beat down by reality. The other side is full of people that will cheat, steal and lie to make it through life. They have no morals or consideration for the people around them.
The more I watch the world the more I see that the good people of the world are the ones catching the most crap. I would like to use my family for example. My dad has always been a hard working man. He would work crazy hours and some times I wouldn't even see him much through the week because of his schedule. And because of this my family lived a nice life. We were not rich but we were not poor. We lived comfortably. Then, my dad got hurt at work. Now, he is on disability and can't work because he is always in pain. It often breaks my heart to know that while I can sit comfortably for hours and read a book, my dad is constantly up and down because sitting or standing for too long causes more pain. And just the thought of always being in pain...it's enough to bring tears to my eyes.
Off topic for a moment. I love my dad so much. When he first got hurt they told him he would end up in a wheelchair. My dad didn't let that stop him, he can still walk on his own two feet. There was a time where he was using a cane but he eventually put the cane away. My dad has got to be one of the strongest people I have ever seen in this world. Even though the world tries to beat him down he keeps going. And because of that my dad will always be my hero. Sadly, I don't tell him that because...I am not the one to speak my feelings out loud. My dad has lived a long hard life and I don't see him stopping for a very, very long time.
Back on topic now. After my dad got hurt things went down hill for my family. We lost our home, vehicles, and a ton of stuff that we had to sell just for a little bit of food. We were homeless for a little bit but my Aunt took us in, I mentioned her in my last blog I believe. Soon we were climbing back on to our feet, fighting with the disability office, even though my dad would have loved to go back to work, he just wasn't able. It was a long struggle to get my dad on disability. He eventually got that and we had a home again and vehicles but, things were still a struggle. At the end of my 11th grade year we lost another home. We were homeless again. But this time we had an awesome van that was paid for and a big box truck. Not much, but it was all we had to call home. That summer, the summer before my Senior year in high school we lived in a tent for three months. Thankfully it was summer and the water was awesome! It was almost like a vacation until the end of the day when I would lay awake at night crashing back to reality. Reality always has a way of catching back up to you.
Of course we eventually got some kind of settlement, not sure what it was for, and we got the home we have been living in for the past 6 years. You would think that things would be easy now that we have a home and three vehicles that are paid for. I will tell you that it is still hard and some days I want to hide from the world until it all just disappears. Right now we are living off my dad's disability, my moms inheritance check and the little bit of money I make. We struggle and sometimes the stress gets to us all. My parents have this dream of hitting the lottery. Though, you never know, it could happen. The lesson that my family has learned from all this though, there is ALWAYS something to smile about. And as long as you have a strong family you can make it through anything. My brother and my mom both, I would consider two of my best friends. My dad...is my dad, my hero, and my inspiration. Of course so is my mom. I find it amazing that my parents have stayed together through all the hell we have been through and that alone gives me hope for my own future.
Back to the other side of the world. The part that lies, cheats, and steals to get by. I know a few people that are on disability like my dad. They claim to be hurt yet they work under the table. They take money from the government, money that is not rightfully theirs to take. And when they get caught more laws are thrown into the mix making it harder for those who are really unable to work to get help in the world. And then you have the people that are addicted to drugs that are disabled because they are addicted...how is that even reasonable? It is something they did to themselves while there are a ton of injured people who became injured through an unfortunate accident. I could probably go on for ages about this but I will be nice to tonight and not go there.
What I don't understand is how these people can sleep at night knowing that their greedy actions is taking food out of the mouths of children living with parents who are trying so hard to get a handle on the world. It just makes no sense to me how the good people are the ones who seem to be sitting at the bottom. Of course I could be a little biased as I consider one of the good people sitting on the bottom. I often wonder if I would see things differently if my dad had never been hurt and we were still living a safe, comfortable life. I wonder if I would have been one of those spoiled kids that would not be caught dead shopping in Goodwill. But it is no use thinking that because I can do nothing to change what has happened. It happened and it made me a better person and it has opened my eyes wide to see the real world.
Of course, for those that believe in heaven and hell, you say that these people getting through life in such an awful way will be punished once their spirits have moved on from this world. I believe that myself. But what about the people that don't believe in that, they deserve justice too don't they?
I am possibly just rambling because I am in a bad mood. Then again I could actually have a point here. Think about it. Not every person that has money got it from doing bad things and throwing people under the bus so they don't get hurt. And not every person that is poor and having a hard time in life is a good person. I understand that. I know that some homeless people brought it on themselves and some rich people worked really hard for what they have. And there is always a middle ground. Not rich, comfortable, but could easily become poor should the right situation occur.
And one more thing. This bad economy crap we are going through right now...yeah, my family was in this situation before everyone else felt the blow. Don't come crying to me about how horrible it is and how depressed you are over it. Why? Because, been there, done that...and still there. I know what it's like and I still find a smile in my bag of magic.
Through this blog I have found peace of mind. It started off because I was just in a bad mood and feeling sorry for myself. But, as I was writing I realized that I am happy for all the crap I have been through. Sure, I would like to see an end to scraping the bottom of the piggy bank, and I am sure that will come in time, but for now, I am seeing the world in a new light. For now, I am learning lessons that take some people a life time to learn.
And now, I should go to bed before this blog gets any longer.
Just so you know, I titled this blog after I wrote it. The new title sounds better than the original. It sounds more hopeful.
I hope that you all find hope and peace in this time of hardship. And the world will not end in 2012 so if you were putting off all the bills until then...you should probably start paying them.
Until we meet again
Heather.
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